Nazbo pride. Love the video.
(Also love how everyone from the West Coast thinks that Kansas City is in Kansas and not Missouri.)

Labels: Funny, Life

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This one goes out to Kaz.

Labels: Apple, Funny, Technology

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Improv Everywhere agents cause a scene in Grand Central Station.

Labels: Funny, Life

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Last week Kara and I watched the final episode of Arrested Development. We'd stretched watching the three seasons of the show over two years. We felt guilty that we were not among the loyal fans of the show when it was on the air. But like so many people we only came to know of Arrested Development after the fact. How lame is that! COME ON!

Buster, we will miss your one-handed mama's boy hilarity.

George, we will miss your fanatical drive to stay out of prison even though it was the only place you really belonged.

Lucille, we will miss your pre-lunch vodka rituals.

Gob, we will miss you accidentally spraying lighter fluid on strangers and then explaining how the magic trick should have worked with enough flare to last any normal human being a lifetime.

Lindsey, we will miss your sad attempts at flirting.

Michael, we will miss your constant need to be a better dad than your own... and how you always find a way to mess it up.

George Michael, we will miss you boyish awkwardness (actually we probably won't because you're in tons of movies these days reprising that part).

Tobias, we will miss all the ways in which you would unknowingly speak in innuendo.

Maybe, we will miss seeing all of your below average B-movies and their theme park offshoots.

Labels: Film, Funny, TV

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From Catholic Anarchy

Labels: Funny, Military

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I have recently been hearing a LOT about Tony Dungy's faith. When I say a LOT, I don't mean in content but in frequency. This usually happens when anyone on a Super Bowl winning team goes to church or prays or if they've just read "Wild at Heart."
(Seriously. Jon Kitna read "Wild at Heart" during his "comeback" with the Bengals a few years ago and Christians went nuts over him)

We Christians go batty when celebrities turn out to be Christians... or if Celebrities have even read a Christian book. Why? Does this mean for instance that the Colts are a Christian team? Does this mean that good Christians can't root for their own godless football teams because Tony Dungy prays? Woe to me and my heathen Broncos! No, I don't think its about that. We hear about these celebrity Christians because like most Americans, Christians are obsessed with celebrity. We bow at the cult of celebrity with the rest of our VH1 viewing countrymen.

What is it about Christians going batty for Celebrities becoming (or turning out to be) Christians? Evangelicals spend a lot of time and energy maligning Hollywood and celebrities but as soon as one of them turns out to be "one of us," then all criticism is laid aside and we get them a book deal and tv time as soon as evangelically possible. It seems to me that the reasons throngs of people are obsessed with celebrities are the same reasons that Christians are also obsessed with Christian-celebrities. Celebrities are people used to live out vicarious fantasy lives. Why do so many people care about who Paris Hilton is dating? Because in some way or another her dating life is either a vicarious way for them to be in a relationship or is a false promise that they can one day also be that famous, that adored and that rich. We fawn over celebrities not so much based on their merit as much as the hope that one day we too can be like them.

This is a problem for Christians because our Lord did not come to show us 7 highly-effective habits for our best life now! He revealed the upside-down Kingdom of God where the poor and marginalized are first class citizens and the rich and famous are last. While the "saints" of popular culture tell us that we can be anything we want to if we just work hard enough, or are shocking enough or have the right body, Jesus tells us that we can be his disciples if we are willing to give all that up. Jesus' message is in direct competition with the celebrity-message.

The problem is that we are a people so shaped by celebrity we tend to buy into the unspoken assumptions that come along with it. We start to think that "successful" people are famous, rich and beautiful. We define success by how high one can climb on the social ladder. Celebrities obviously fit this model of success. So when a Christian becomes a celebrity or better yet, when an already-Celebrity becomes a Christian, in some kind of round-about way it legitimizes our own faith. "See, Christians can be successful too! We're also cool and famous!"

One of the many problems with holding up the image of a celebrity Christian is that we rarely examine the content of their faith and certainly don't hold them to much of any standard. It is not their theology or lived out practice that makes them a good example, it is their status as a celebrity. We Evangelicals particularly fall into this trap because we think that celebrity Christians are automatically great evangelists based on their fame alone. Walk into any Christia... I mean Family Christian Bookstore and see how many celebrity Christian books you find on the shelves. Chuck Norris, Kurt Warner, Stephen Baldwin, Joe Gibbs just to name a few. And why? Because we think we can harness the power that comes with the cult of celebrity (and I mean cult in the most literal sense) for evangelistic good. It's a nice idea, but it's wrong. As Marshall McLuhan said, "the medium is the message." If we think we can take the cult of celebrity with it idolatrous tenancies and preoccupation with wealth and fame and just plug Christians into that model and still be true to the gospel we're sadly deceived. Instead we will produce a "gospel" that will be overly spiritual (to the point of being gnostic) and reinforce our own desire for wealth, fame and influence.

This is the same kind of mentality that says to youth pastors, first reach out to the "cool" kids because where they go, the rest will follow. The problem with this is of course that it's counter to what Jesus taught us! He tells us to reach out to the least of these, the unpopular, the uncool, the nerds, the kids who don't bathe as often as they should because the Kingdom of God looks like these! The "good news" is not that unpopular kids or unemployed adults can become Christian and then climb the social ladder to the places where Tony Dungy and Chuck Norris reside. The gospel is that even when the world says you're unsuccessful, lame, oppressed, poor that Jesus meets you there... Jesus lives there and that the Kingdom of God is not like this world. The first shall be last in his Kingdom and the last shall be first! The gospel says that it is more honorable to hang out with dying people who can't help you network, who won't ever write you a good reference than it is to win the super bowl.

When we don't examine their theology or lived out practices beyond statements like "George Bush goes to a study on the book 'The Prayer of Jabez' every month," we get what we deserve, a Christianity more concerned with celebrity than with discipleship. The above quote is enough for a great deal of Christians to believe that Bush is a Christian in the exact same way they are a Christian, that he is concerned with discipleship and becoming more and more like Christ every day but going to a Prayer of Jabez study does not a disciple make! Now, I'm trying really hard not to say "George Bush is not a Christian." I'm not saying that. What I am saying is that if we really think he is a Christian and are going to hold him up as an example for other Christians we'd better know more of his story than "he read the Prayer of Jabez."

"It is through your kneeling and holding hands that they shall know you are my people."
- Jesus?

It is this same rush to claim someone as our own that results in Enlightenment-deists who denied the divinity of Christ, like Thomas Jefferson and other "founding fathers" to be held up as Evangelical heroes. Few bother to examine what they actually believed and lived, it's enough for us that Jefferson mentioned a "higher power" once and we're happy to claim him as our own.

Maybe our "Christian celebrities" should be people like Shane Claiborne and Mother Teresa rather than already-celebrities who happen to be Christian. Christian Saints are witnesses to us that following Jesus into the dumps, to the margins of society is what the Kingdom is all about. Christian martyrs are witnesses to us that we too can one day resist living on the world's terms, that we can live in the way of Jesus even if it means we will be killed for doing so.

So is it nice that Tony Dungy is a Christian? Sure. But Tony Dungy and You and I are called to be disciples of Jesus Christ and that journey does not end in celebrity. It is not a journey of "climbing the ladder" but it is a journey of humility, of faithfulness to God in the way of Jesus. So all of us Christians, Tony Dungy included, need to keep our eyes fixed on the example of the Saints, of the martyrs and most importantly of our Lord, and not that of celebrity-Christians.

Labels: Funny, Sports, Theology

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I found this gem on YouTube a while back. Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager. Haven't you always wondered what if Darth Vader was the shift manager at a grocery store? I know I have! And now we can all see.
For the other episodes...

Labels: Film, Funny

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Yesterday I suffered from 6 or 7 rounds of hiccups. Each time it began anew someone would offer their advice for curing my ailment. I'm not sure if you have noticed this, but when people give advice for curing hiccups they are instantly transported back into time, roughly around the year 1249, when draining someone of their blood was a way to "cure" them from fainting.

It was fun to watch some of my fellow graduate students turn into something between a late-night infomercial guru and a medieval witch doctor. So here are some of my favorite suggestions...

Put sugar on the roof of your mouth.

Bend over and drink water upside-down.

Pick up something really heavy.

Get slapped in the face... but only if it's a surprise. (a la Dwight Schrute from last week's episode of the Office)

and my favorite...
Drink 8 oz of freshly squeezed baby Dragon tears and then slap an Icelandic witch (it's very important that she be Icelandic) on her bum.

Each one of these was followed by, "I SWEAR IT WORKS!"

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Now that there's a good conversation going on about my last post I think it's safe to go ahead and post this video. Enjoy.

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Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day and in honor of my FAVORITE of all holidays I will reveal my Pirate Moniker.

Labels: Funny

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"Yes, Yes! We go to war, and protest going to war at the same time. That means we could go to war with whomever we wished but at the same time act like we didn't want to. As long as we let people protest what the government does then our country will be forever blameless."

"An entire country founded on the idea of saying one thing and doing another!"

Sometimes South Park really hits it square on.

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Thanks to Daniel Greeson for passing this funny video along.

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While I'm enjoying San Diego I thought I'd pass this along that I found over at My Four Walls.

Labels: Funny

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How about a little sanctified humor for finals week?

Labels: Funny

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Labels: Apple, Funny

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Kara sent me this today, check it out. Some students from my Alma Mater put this hilarious video together. REPRESENT!

Labels: Funny

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Something wonderful. [updated, new link works now!]

Something awful.

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Eric posted the dialouge between Jon Stewart and Rob Corddry as they discussed Vice President Dick Cheney's recent shooting of a hunting pal. It's priceless. Enjoy...

Dick Cheney still hasn't appeared in public to discuss his accidental shooting of a 78-year-old man, but there are plenty of people willing to speak on the veep's behalf -- among them, Comedy Central's Rob Corddry. Playing the role of a "vice president firearms mishap analyst," Corddry explained it all Monday night for "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart:

Stewart: Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?

Corddry: Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face.

Stewart: But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?

Corddry: Jon, in a post-9/11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

Stewart: That's horrible.

Corddry: Look, the mere fact that we're even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know "how" we're hunting them. I'm sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little "covey" of theirs.

Stewart: I'm not sure birds can laugh, Rob.

Corddry: Well, whatever it is they do -- coo -- they'e cooing at us right now, Jon, because here we are talking openly about our plans to hunt them. Jig is up. Quails one, America zero.

Labels: Funny

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I saw a mullet today that blew... my... mind. This whole camera-phone thing is awesome! So I've started a gallery of the mullets I've captured and will capture as I trek through this mullet sprinkled life.

Labels: Funny, Life

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Yesterday I got to hang out with some of the teens in my Sr. High group at church and make a short film. We're doing this "Pink Flamingo" fundraiser for our teens where people in the church can prank one another by having us put these pink flamingos in their friend's yard. Well we thought we needed something to get the attention of the parents, so we made this short film to get the word out.

Pink Flamingo Short Film

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Here's an article I really enjoyed.

A revelation for the makers of Revelations
by Jason Byassee

Revelations is a new NBC miniseries designed to tap into the lucrative market of end-times belief—demonstrated by the success of the Left Behind novels. Actor Bill Pullman plays a Harvard scientist whose skepticism, be assured, will gradually be worn down by a Roman Catholic nun who believes signs of the "end of days" are upon us. That Pullman's child has been murdered by the Antichrist and that another now-comatose child is channeling his daughter's spirit while quoting the Bible in Latin from her hospital bed will, no doubt, help wear away his skepticism.

Since network television is new to making shows that deal sympathetically with religious themes, I thought they could use the following pointers.

Notes to the makers of Revelations:

1. It's Revelation. Not Revelations. It's singular, not plural. That's because it's the one revelation of Jesus Christ. Really. I looked it up. People who say "Revelations" show they don't know what they're talking about. I know you've already spent massively advertising this misnomer, and it's a common mistake, but it's still dumb, so please fix it.

2. Jesus hasn't come back for 20 centuries. Sorry to be so obvious here, but someone seems to have convinced you that the "end of days" is really near this time. You're not the first to think this, but everyone who ever has, has been wrong. Like when believers sold their stuff and expected the apocalypse at the turn of the first millennium - the year 1000. Or when someone wrote 88 Reasons the Rapture Will Happen in 1988. Or the Y2K nonsense. Trust us on this; we in the church have been waiting for Jesus to come "soon" for quite some time.

3. The New Testament was written in Greek. So when your lightening-struck brain-dead little girl starts "quoting scripture" and doing so in Latin, the aura created by the use of a dead language is punctured a bit by the fact that it's the wrong language she uses.

4. Catholics don't really believe in the rapture. I know you needed Catholics around to interpret the Latin-speaking brain-dead miracle-girl, but the Catholic Church, if pinned down, would be happy to tell you that the rapture is a heresy. Also most Catholic priests don't speak or hear Latin much anymore. And most nuns don't wear habits. Pre-Vatican II Catholicism makes for good costumes, but it makes your show look silly also.

5. Doctors and nurses don't really hope for patients to die so they can "harvest" their organs. All the Schiavo excitement might have you believe that impugning hard-working medical professionals will be good for ratings, but when little girls speak, even if it's scripture in Latin, doctors aren't generally eager to cut their organs out. This isn't really a religious observation, but I think I can make it safely all the same.

6. When Christians read Isaiah's prophecy that "a little child will lead them," they think it's referring to Jesus. Not to a baby floating on driftwood after an apocalyptic sinking of a cruiseliner in the Aegean Sea. And generally Christians are unpleased when verses that apply to Jesus are taken to apply to other people. Generally.

6a. It has subsequently become apparent that the child is, in fact, Jesus, now returned to earth. I promise you can't find me a Left-Behinder who believes in reincarnation, let alone in the reincarnation of Jesus - who is, after all, supposed to return in something of a blaze of glory. But do let me tip my hat to a rare instance of interreligious liberality. Even Buddhists can be offended by this program.

7. There is no Satanism in the bible. This will be a surprise, for clearly the satanic ritual around the murder of your lead character's daughter, and your Satanist character's quasi-omniscience - and his inability to bleed - all seem very fascinating to you. But for scripture and traditional Christianity, Satan is really not all that interesting. He doesn't get his own "religion," and he sure as hell doesn't know everything. That's what they pay youth counselors and Christian camps to do - scare youngsters by talking about Satanists. Because the Bible sure doesn't do it.

8. Bill Pullman is a lousy actor. You didn't need a professional religious person to tell you that, but you also didn't know it on your own.

9. The Bible is not a set of tarot cards. It is not a crystal ball. It is not an amulet to foresee the future. I know this is confusing, since the Christians you know seem to treat random verses as glimpses of geopolitical futures, but trust me. The Bible is a story about God's saving work in the world. It's very religious that way - it's mostly about God and God's people, and not so much about Satan or lightning-zapping little girls or satanic dismemberment. In fact, it's more about God's healing of this world than phantasmagoric pornography.

10. Shows that claim to be about the Bible and Jesus ought probably talk about the Bible and Jesus. Just a little. And maybe the creeds, as they interpret the Bible for the church. All you have to do is talk a little about Jesus' life. That sort of thing. As a preacher I know religious types expect this.

11. Ugly, banal, ridiculous, and hateful programming really gives no glory to God. And lucky for us in this case, no one watches it either.

12. Please read these notes fast, because your show's shelf-life is going to be about half that of the average rapture prediction. Don't say you weren't warned that the end is near.

Jason Byassee is assistant editor at The Christian Century and a Ph.D. candidate in theology at Duke University.

Sojo Article

Labels: Funny, Theology

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